using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
These tits shall not be calmed
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
