my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
