i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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