You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
