So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
