She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
