i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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