just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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