I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
