We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
