When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
