dude i'm inner monologue high
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
