Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
