Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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