He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
should my penis look like a turkey
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
