She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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