ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
