so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
