I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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