well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
