I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
