You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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