all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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