I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
