This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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