belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
