I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We have started to decorate penises.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
