4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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