No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
