no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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