"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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