Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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