So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
