i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
