if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
