I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
