Do vagina's smell?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
