so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
