Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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