its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
