you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
