4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We're too hungover to prance.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
