woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
