dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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