out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
