his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
