Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
