Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
