we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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