I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
