**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
