Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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