I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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